Tomorrow* it begins, my one week at bootcamp. Not like a military bootcamp, mind you. Rather, in the way that everything that is an intensive (and intense) course is called a bootcamp these days, a fitness bootcamp. I very much hope that it would not resemble a military bootcamp. Even having never experienced either, I am confident my chances of survival are greater the less like a military bootcamp it is. That said, I am expecting it to be tough. It will be something like six hours of workouts a day for six days. Even in my exercise addition phase, I certainly never worked out that much. And it won't be six hours of yoga and light aerobics. There are a few runs in the schedule, one off-road, Boxercise, gym sessions, and more than one of them in one day, and one day at an obstacle course gym. This IS going to be hard.
So why would you do this to yourself?? I got asked that question a lot leading up to this trip. From the responses I got when I told people about this trip, I decided that people generally fall into three categories. The first are the likeminded, those who immediately get it, and think it sounds like a great idea. The second are the cautiously curious, who are interested to know more about the trip, and in a vague sort of way, can perhaps see why something like that could be appealing but are not consider taking the plunge themselves… yet. The third are the baffled, who struggle to begin to comprehend why anyone in their right mind would willingly put themselves through something like that, using up precious vacation days, and paying for the privilege. After one such conversation, where I found myself struggling to get a friend to understand why I wanted to do something like this, it got me thinking. Why am I doing this? For me it was a given, and I don't doubt that it is something I want to do, although I will admit to the moments of panic where I think about what is to come and wonder what the fuck have I done! Those moments aside, it is still clear to me that this is something I want to do. I am nervous but I am looking forward to it!
At the risk of overthinking this and without having all the answers, it seems to me that there are several layers to that question. The superficial is the chain of events which brought this about and is easy enough to answer. Then there are the reasons why I am doing this right now. And then, there are the reasons that are inherent and related to a type of character perhaps.
The plan came about fairly straightforwardly: a friend asked me if I would be interested in a fitness holiday and I said yes, no hesitation. We had to figure out dates, price range, destination and so on. We both had a few ideas about what we were looking for: relative warmth weather-wise without being too hot, a challenging but varied program. I wanted something international and English speaking. My friend wanted a well rounded program with a focus on nutrition and diet. We bounced a few options back and forth, then came the day when we booked.
My personal reasons are relatively easy to explain. I am out of shape. I have gotten well and truly out of the practice of working out regularly. I still consider myself an active person and the me in my head is still fit and strong. But the reality is that there is not much about my lifestyle these day now that can really be considered active. There has not been for a good few years. And no stretch of the imagination can qualify me as fit or strong. But there was a time that I was. A time that in my head was not too long ago. That continued to be the image I had of myself for a few years even after it stopped being true. In the last year or two, I had to reluctantly acknowledge how far I had away I had come from that person. It was a bit of a difficult pill to swallow. So I always wanted to get back into shape. I told myself I would. I laid out plan after plan that never become more than just plans.
So when my friend asked, I didn't hesitate. I know the difference it makes to workout in a group with a good instructor to guide, motivate and push me. To do it on a trip means that I would have no excuse to get out of it. That is usually the issue with trying to fit in a fitness regime at home in daily life. There was always the work excuse, however valid it may have been recently. Then there are errands to be run, meals to be cooked, social connections that needed to be maintained, other interests which needed to be pursued. At the camp, they work out a workout schedule for us every day and feed us, so all we have to do is show up. And there was a good chance that everyone else would be likeminded people. Why else would they be on the trip?
Then there is the reward. The reward of it for me, is not just that I will presumably be in better shape when I leave than when I arrive. That would of course be great, but the at least equal enticement is far simpler: dopamine. This is not a scientific post, so do not take this as fact! If you ask me, the high from pushing through the barrier is at least equal to the effort and the pain. And I wonder if this is one thing which differentiates the people who get it and the people who don´t. If I had thought about it earlier, I might have done a poll of all the people I spoke to, from their reactions and workout experiences. As it is, I can only speculate. Perhaps some of the people who really do not get it have never really pushed through that barrier, or inherently have lower dopamine production or fewer (weaker?) dopamine receptors. Whatever the case for everyone else, I know from my exercise addition phase that I do get that kick, no doubt about that. During my exercise addition phase, I remember saying to someone that I thought the exercise high was better than sex. I would like to set the record straight, it is NOT better than sex, but damn, it's right up there. And even if I do not experience the exercise high much these days, my brain remembers.
There is something fundamental about pushing boundaries as well though. Most of us go through life with so many limitations. We are kept in check by boundaries from all sides, some literal and for good reason: the walls of our home, the lines on the road. We walk on pavements, we cycling in bicycle paths. Those of us lucky enough to live in a developed society surround ourselves with all sorts that make life easier for us. Why walk 15 minutes when you can hire e-scoot your way there in 5 minutes? Why type when you can dictate? A fraction of the time, less use of muscles required. We are so surrounded by comforts and luxuries that we have forgotten, or maybe we never knew, what our bodies can do. Indeed what it is designed to be able to do. Most of us have no idea what our bodies can do. As evolution takes its course, we are going to lose the skills we no longer "need". I know, I know, as a species we are developing new skills to meet the digital age and we use our brains functions in different ways, and so on and so forth. I've heard the spiel. I'm not convinced it´s a worthwhile trade off, but I digress. That was not the point. The point here is that people rarely push themselves. I know I do (rarely push myself these days). But I love the thought of pushing the boundaries of what I am physically capable off. I am convinced that human beings are capable of sooo much more than what we allow our bodies to go today. And we have gotten so used of keeping within boundaries that we are convinced we can't. There is maybe also a bit of self-indulgence in how we meet challenges. If we are tired, we stop. If there is a challenge, we find another way. I love pushing myself and experience my body rise to the challenge. That was one of the reasons behind the skåneleden; as it was behind the whole ice bathing thing.
So yeah, let's see how this week goes. Like I said, I am nervous. I think it will be tough, but I also think it will be great! ...hopefully the rain stops.
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| Rain, rain and more rain forecasted... |
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